What’s the Difference?
Between “Who Gives the Bride Away” and “The Family Blessing”?
I am not known for traditional-type weddings! And most of the couples who come to me (99%) don’t want a traditional wedding. We have so many cultures and philosophies and beliefs in our must-cultural society that more and more couples are choosing to go with something more unique to who they are. I also hold the idea that your wedding should be fun and happy and reflect who you are as a couple.
One of the traditions that I’ve done away with in my ceremonies is the traditional giving away of the Bride. I don’t like it! Sorry, but I just don’t! First of all, most brides are not so young as to not know who they’re getting into partnership with. Secondly, this tradition harkens back to the day when brides were considered to be part of the property that a man had. And the men in society treated them as such.
So I would give away my daughter, usually at a price, like for 2 donkeys, 6 cattle, 10 gold coins, and a partridge in a pear tree!
I consider myself a bit more modern than that. I also consider marriage or any romantic partnership to be just that – a partnership! So when the ceremony is ready to go and the parties have made their way to the front I ask, “Who here gives their blessing upon this couple to be married today?” I call this The Family (or guests) Blessing.
Really it’s just another ritual in the whole ceremony! And it can be skipped by the couple entirely if they so choose. But it’s always nice to hear a parent or family member say so. I’ve even asked the entire guest list present to so ‘We do’.